It’s a chilly February morning and I am sitting in another hotel room looking out another window. Lately I have found myself sitting in silence trying to understand the set of circumstances that have led me to be in this place right now. Over the last five years I have been so incredibly lucky to share my life with you all and I couldn’t be more proud of the things I have achieved. That being said, I’ve also made a lot of mistakes and have (as so eloquently put recently) performed a lot of “pageantry” in hopes of keeping up appearances. Life isn’t easy, and trust me when I say it’s not all pretty blog posts and photos on social media.
And so my friends, I am here to tell you that we are coming to the end of the Do The Daniel chapter of my life.
I know, I know… this all sounds kind of familiar doesn’t it? Yes I admit that I wrote a similar post last year under different circumstances and then reneged on it. I don’t necessarily feel the need to defend my choices in the past, nor can I can change them. But today as I watch the snow fall and I think about what I want in my future, I know that it is important for me to do this for me and no one else. My mental health, my heart, and my soul all need a fresh start and my next step into a new career will help me do just that.
Over the last few weeks I have had to face some of the most difficult realities I have ever had to face, and most of them lay in the mirror every morning. I have had to remind myself over and over that I am allowed to be human in this all. Not just the face of the brand as we have evolved over the last five years, but also the person who carries the responsibilities behind the scenes. A man who has unfortunately shared too much of my personal life with you all. Someone who for too long didn’t love himself enough and sought your love to validate that lack of self worth.
There has been more moments than you know over the last five years where I wanted to stop. Others where I probably should have. But life is not made up of should haves and could haves. It is about taking responsibility and being better than I was yesterday.
Do The Daniel has been one of the most incredible additions to my life, but it is no longer my entire life anymore. Sharing the glamour of red carpets and celebrities, travel around the world and fabulous food, I love that you came along with me.
That being said, I miss the moments I didn’t share because they were mine. Sitting atop a ferris wheel at The Ex with a certain look in my eyes of being completely content. Feeling the sand of Cuban beaches under my feet. Being drenched in the rain of Paris exploring the city as if for the first time. Nights in in comfortable clothes. Cooking a simple meal. Sweaters. Snacks. Laundry. Watching Bob’s Burgers or Master Chef and not live tweeting about it. There are moments such as those – simple things – that I haven’t shared… that mean more than a hundred that I have. And it took me until this very moment in my life to understand that.
The internet is a tool that I allowed myself to become addicted to in the name of business. I was sharing it all with you because that is what I believed I had to do or what I wanted. But I know now that isn’t what I want anymore.
Some may say this is yet again more pageantry. Some will say I failed. To be perfectly honest, I don’t care what anyone says anymore.
I am doing what I know is best for my mind, my heart and my soul. I want a life that I deserve because I love myself enough to walk away from one that no longer fits who I am.
Please understand I am doing this for no one other than myself.
If I can offer you one piece of advice as we work to cease content creation over the coming weeks here on the blog and our social media, it would be this.
Chase you dreams. Aim for the fucking stars because you deserve nothing less. But understand that those same dreams may one day change and come to an end. And it is your choice to acknowledge when it is time to close one chapter so that you can start to chase new ones.
I am so excited for what is to come. To find some consistency and some privacy again and to know that I did what was best for me. It’s daunting because I don’t yet know what that means exactly. But what I do know is that it is time.
Don’t forget to be kind & laugh a little more this year