If I was to ask how were you doing right now, what would your answer be? For many of us, the default to answer “I’m good, thanks. And you?” or “I’m fine” without a second thought. But if I asked again, I wonder if your answer would be different. While I can’t speak for anyone else other than myself, I have to be honest that I am struggling a bit. The excitement of life is of course where my focus is these days, because your energy flows where your attention goes. But having lived in a scarcity mentality for so long, I’m having a hard time not stressing out about money and finances these days.
A scarcity mindset is a way of thinking that focuses on what you lack, such as money, time, or emotional support. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and other problems.
Symptoms
- Feeling like you’re always behind
- Being overly controlling
- Being pessimistic
- Feeling like you always lose and others always win
- Being impatient
- Over-scheduling yourself
- Feeling depressed or paralyzed
For myself, the primary stressor in my life these days is money and the flow of it in my life. I’ve spoken about that in this post – that amid the move back to Toronto I am also navigating major changes in life.
Being an entrepreneur doesn’t help by any means, and for my fellow entrepreneur & creators you’ll understand what I mean. Our lives can be fabulous and we get to do some incredible things, that I am not doubting or complaining about. What many people don’t understand is that we are paid via invoice, which can vary in payment terms drastically from month to month. Add to the inconsistency in payment amounts and frequency, that if and when we don’t work, we don’t get paid. All of that can be a recipe for disaster when it comes to mental health.
Of course, other factors can play into this headspace, as outlined below.
Sound familiar in some way? Me too.
So if I was to be perfectly honest, as I try to be in hopes that the discomfort I am feeling resonates, having the car repossessed and filing for bankruptcy while navigating a pending divorce is a lot. I know that I will be okay, because I know that I am stronger than this moment in my life, but it hasn’t helped with my anxiety. I’m not sleeping very well, I am always worried about the fact that right now I have no money until I am paid again, and there are no savings left after my efforts in 2024.
I’ve never been more broke in my life, and that’s simultaneously embarassing and frustrating and upsetting to admit. But that’s where I am today.
I had been avoiding all of those topics, trying to pretend I was fine for so long, that I liken it to a recent CN Tower Edge Walk photo from a brand activation. Its like I have been walking on a ledge I knew was there, but if I held my hands over my eyes, I didn’t have to see how close I was to it all. That’s not a healthy response either, and thankfully I am actively taking steps to restart my life.
If you are living in a similar place mentally, I want you to take a second with me right now.
Take a deep inhale, and hold for four seconds.
Exhale slowly for four seconds.
Repeat until the heart pumping in your ears and that anxious feeling subsides even just a little bit.
Navigating money, or scarcity, in a part or many parts of of your life in the world right now can feel extremely overwhelming for even those of us who have a more stable situation then mine. Everything is more expensive, the dread of the politics of the world feel like they are inescapable, and at times it can all feel like there is no relief.
But I promise you, that is just a state of mind. So in hopes of sharing what has worked for me, here are some tips I am trying to use more often to help when I feel completely overwhelmed that I hope can help you too.
- Breath work: Using the breathing exercise above helps me a lot. Take into consideration what is causing the anxious reaction. For example if sitting at your desk working is causing you to become suddenly incredibly anxious, take a moment to step away and find somewhere to do some breath work.
- Practice gratitude. Regularly write down or reflect on things you are grateful for to shift your focus to what you already have. This takes a bit of practice, but makes a world of difference.
- Reframe negative thoughts: When experiencing scarcity thoughts, challenge them by actively replacing them with more positive and realistic perspectives. It can be as simple as today I showered and spoke to a friend on the phone. Small changes are still changes.
- Mindfulness and meditation: Utilize mindfulness practices to become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, helping you identify and address scarcity thinking patterns.
- Positive affirmations: Repeat positive statements about yourself and your situation to counteract negative self-talk. I used to think this was the silliest activity in the world, but it absolutely works. Tell yourself every single day that you deserve good things, aa love that is safe and reciprocal, and abundance .
- Surround yourself with positive people: Seek out individuals who have an abundance mindset to inspire and support your shift. This can be a tricky one to navigate and if you find yourself becoming envious instead of inspired, take the time you need to reset your mindset, and try again.
- Give back: Engaging in acts of generosity can help you feel more connected to a larger community and cultivate a sense of abundance. Here’s where I want to challenge you a little bit – do it without sharing online or without needing anyone to know for the validation. The act of giving back or random acts of kindness ripple out into the universe and they do not need anyone to know about them other than you.
- Focus on personal growth: Invest in self-improvement activities to develop a more empowered mindset.
I am not a mental health practitioner and I would never claim to be a substitute for medical advise. The reality is that I am also medicated for depression, and should your mental health be taking a negative turn I encourage you to consult a doctor or mental health practitioner immediately.
Asking for help does not make you weak, and we are all unique in our journeys.
Do not suffer in silence. Please.
I know that this might all seem fluffy to some of you, but for a lot of us out there, life can seem as though its never been more difficult than right now. I promise that together, with an open heart and an honest mind, we will overcome and we will be okay.
I hope you enjoyed reading this post. If you’re not already, follow me on all social media platforms at @dothedaniel as I share in real time these adventures and so much more!
Photos: Daniel Reyes Cocka & www.choosingtherapy.com
Don’t forget to be kind & a little more honest with yourself this year
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