That’s The Way Love Goes?

I guess I should preface this blog post by saying that I’m still not really sure where it’s coming from – or for that matter on what note it’s going to end. A bit alarming and off putting some might say, but I often write some of my best work whilst in a state of following where the post leads me and not the other way around.

Over the past ten days I’ve been so tired and unsure where to focus my energy. I guess that could be attributed to one of the busiest Pride months I’ve had in years and all the amazing partners I got to work with. Or maybe it’s because I’m probably a smidge overdue for some time off away from work, and no offense, this all too. Nothing crazy, just like a week on a beach somewhere hot or exploring an international city with my thoughts and my husband. I’ve been making notes on paper and on my mobile device with ideas for this blog post and tonight I’m going to try and make sense of it all. So, let’s talk about love, shall we?

Continue reading “That’s The Way Love Goes?”

This is me.

I am sitting at my laptop. Like any other day, I have had too much coffee for my own good. I have a notepad with a handwritten list of things that I need to do. So many of them now beyond late, screaming at me from the page. My inbox just broke 9000 unread emails. I’ve been biting my nails again. I forgot to eat today. Did I shower? I can’t remember. I am so focused on trying to… What am I trying to do? I wanted to be perfect.

I wanted to be the media mogul who never falters. The outlet that never misses a deadline. I wanted to be the success story. The boy who came from a rough life, who made something of himself, that people idolized. The newly blonde bombshell. I wanted to feel sexy again amid a schedule and lifestyle that doesn’t leave me much time to live at the gym for that end game. I wanted to be praised for all of this. I wanted to execute and run a business that made a million dollars in the first year. I wanted to be real with all of you. And to be honest, right now, I don’t think that I’m okay. My birthday is looming and all I can think about is what a failure I feel like. I am not fucking perfect.  Continue reading “This is me.”