I have started and restarted this post so many times… all on my phone’s note app, and all from the toilet. You know what I’m talking about. The struggle of trying to find time alone when even the bathroom is no longer sacred.
“Are you going poo poo?”
“Where’s your penis? Is it invisible?”
“I need a snack!”
“let’s play catch! (While already throwing a ball at your head)
“The cat is puking!”
So right now it’s 9:15pm and he has FINALLY stopped singing and has fallen asleep (he’s been in bed since 7), I’m on my second load of laundry, there’s a pile of dirty dishes in the sink and I’ve just poured myself a drink (it’s been a LONG couple of days).
One of my favourite quotes, which I’m sure I found on Pinterest, is;
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”
Isn’t it so true? I know now without a doubt that I am a completely different person than I was pre-kid. I remember fondly the nights of getting ready to go out at 11pm, and having to get up for 10am was SOO early. The days of coming and going as I pleased and my biggest concern was what to wear. Now, by 11pm I’ve been in bed for an hour, I haven’t been able to sleep in past 8:30am for years, and I barely look at myself in the mirror before I leave (while of course my son is dressed to impress!). The moment your child is born, your priorities and views on life are forever altered. All of a sudden someone else determines when you wake and sleep and eat and sit and pee! Haha! Parenting is hard work! In the beginning it’s REALLY hard, and then the challenges just change with time. And to be honest, one of the hardest parts is that there is so much pressure to be the “perfect mom”. The mom who cooks (all healthy meals from scratch) and cleans, takes their child to all the best playgroups and classes, throws Pinterest worthy birthday parties, trains for marathons and goes out for girls nights, all while working a career and homeschooling! It’s just all so much! Oh, and don’t forget to document it all on Facebook with the cheeriest of captions!
Now, I will freely admit that I do, or try to do, many of those things. I too am suckered into the societal pressure to be “SuperMom”. But it’s a game of balance, a give and take. This definitely won’t be a place where I tell you how to parent. There are SO many ways to be “SuperMom” to YOUR kids, not anyone else’s kids. Your kids. If that means it’s McDonalds for lunch so you don’t have to argue with them over which colour plate they get, then so be it! If that means you sit longer in the shower or in the car just to have those few extra minutes of quiet, then go for it! The biggest lesson to learn in parenting is to do what works best for you and your family. Not what your neighbour did, grand parents did or your best friend does, what works for YOU!
My son is now almost 3.5 and he is ALL personality! While most of the time this is the greatest thing, there are times (usually in public) where my heart stops, just for a second, because I’m not sure what he’ll say to the elderly woman asking to touch “her” curls. He is the sweetest boy with the softest heart you could ask for. When he calls “MAMA” in the night, and you go in and ask what’s wrong and he says “I just want you”, ya, you melt! He randomly starts “breakdancing” and insists on doing a “naked dance” every time he’s getting dressed. He mastered the iPhone by 1, and is obsessed with Toy Story.
As a single parent, I’ve been extremely blessed to stay home with him. While working from home with my photography business, my custom sugar cookie company and now adding this contribution to DoTheDaniel in the hopes to say what all of you are thinking, and tackle the problems we all face. To be able to share in the joys of what it means to be a family no matter what that may look like. Stay tuned!