I did that thing again. The one I said I wasn’t going to do anymore. Because I’m “supposed to be” the happier, healthier, better off without the past. A “so-much-stronger version” of me. I am not those things, and I’m tired of being a measure of healing, so I did it again and I can’t deny it.
I’ve been avoiding you and I got really quiet. But more so, I’ve been avoiding me. I try so desperately to believe that everything happens for a reason. That’s what they all say, right? So when does that ethereal and magical acceptance and release start?
Navigating divorce, the dreams and goals I loved being set one fire, all while trying to navigate the complex emotions and transitions that come with it has not been a kind process to me. I have quite literally clawed my way back from the brink of destruction at the ending my the life I fought so fucking hard for, only to feel more lost and confused than ever.
Continue reading “That’s Just The Way The Cookie Crumbles, or Whatever…”